new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
