He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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