i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
third nipple confirmed
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
