His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
