do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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