maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
