Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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