apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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