Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
