i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
