i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
