so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
