btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
