on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize