This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize