I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
P.S. I can't hear my feet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
