where am i from again
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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