C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
