you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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