my mouth tastes like poor choices
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
