..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
