We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
