We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
