the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
