apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
