I must be too annoying 4 u.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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