Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This girl is more easily done than said...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
