so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
