This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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