I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
