Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
