We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
