I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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