i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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