Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i now understand why vodka
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize