She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
