He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize