i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
