I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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