I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
