brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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