with your own penis?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
and she was petting her beer can
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
