If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
