If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
