if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize