i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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