so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
