why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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