I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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