Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
