You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Found your dick twin last night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
