So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize