The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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