normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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