I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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