If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
ttyl tear gas
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Randomize