Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
