Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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