Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Randomize
