Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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