idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm like, not good at living.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
