Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
