Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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