I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
