Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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